Parents visiting a church for the first time worry about two things: whether their children will be looked after, and whether they will be a nuisance. Both are reasonable, and both have practical answers.

What Sunday school is

Sunday school is teaching for children, usually running during part of the main service. Children typically stay in for the opening songs, then leave for age-grouped classes with stories, activities and prayer, returning at the end.

Some churches instead keep families together throughout, on the view that children learn worship by being present in it. Neither approach is a warning sign; they are different judgements about the same goal. Ask which a church does before you arrive, so nobody is surprised.

The questions every parent should ask

Ask how adults working with children are checked and trained. Ask whether two adults are always present, and whether an adult is ever alone with a child. Ask how you will be found if your child needs you, and how children are signed in and out.

A church that answers these easily has thought about them. A church that treats them as suspicion has answered you in a different way. This is not an awkward conversation; it is one that responsible churches expect and welcome.

When your child will not sit still

Sit near the back or by an aisle so leaving is easy. Bring quiet things. Take a walk outside and come back; nobody minds. Small children are noisy, and any congregation that wants to exist in twenty years knows exactly what that noise is.

If someone makes you feel unwelcome for it, that is information about the congregation rather than about your child.

For older children and teenagers

Ask whether there is a youth group and how often it meets. Teenagers rarely stay for a service alone; they stay for people their own age who know their names.

Choosing where to go

Families often need a slightly different shortlist: a service time that fits nap schedules, a building you can reach without a long journey, and other children of similar age. A congregation with three families your age will serve your children better than a larger one with none.

The directory lets you see what is near you, and you can ask other parents where they go.