How to Pray, and What to Say

Almost everyone has tried to pray. Far fewer keep going, and the reason given is nearly always the same: not knowing what to say, and feeling that the silence afterwards means nothing happened.

Start with the pattern you were given

When the disciples asked exactly this question, Jesus did not give them a theory. He gave them about sixty words, and the shape of those words is still the best structure there is.

It opens by addressing God as Father, which sets the tone: this is a relationship, not a petition to an office. Then it asks for God to be honoured and his purposes to come about. Only then does it turn to daily bread, forgiveness, and protection.

The order is doing something. Most of us begin with our needs and never leave them. This pattern puts them third.

Say true things

The Psalms contain gratitude, complaint, confusion, fear and anger addressed directly to God. Nothing in Scripture suggests you should arrive with your feelings tidied up first. Prayer that is polite but untrue is the kind people quietly abandon.

Keep it short at first

Three minutes daily will form a habit; thirty minutes once will not. Attach it to something you already do every day — the kettle, the commute, the moment the door closes behind you.

When your mind wanders

It will. Everyone experiences this, including people who have prayed for decades. Come back to where you left off without treating it as a failure. Praying out loud helps, and so does writing it down.

When nothing seems to happen

This is the honest difficulty, and pretending otherwise helps nobody. Two things are worth saying. Prayer changes the person praying, which is usually noticed only in hindsight. And an answer of no or not yet is still an answer, though it does not feel like one at the time.

If you want a passage alongside your prayers each day, our daily readings supply one. If you want other people praying with you, the prayer wall is open, and the directory will show what congregations are near.